atquifercomcaddi.netlify.com › ▲▲▲ Describe Yourself In 3 Words Dating Site ▲▲▲

*financing is limited and only available to a few who qualify. As in years past, I have prepared a new pricelist of this years most popular and requested spells and potions. But first I have some short announcements and then we will get right to it.
Last year you may remember I introduced an experimental potion limited to a few qualified humans. Called the “The Wealth and Power” potion. However I underestimated the very seductive and addicting side effects it can have on some species. At first all seemed like it was going perfectly. But after the holiday and I was gone you little munchkins became enchanted with wealth and giddy with power. Some of that is expected as the potion takes effect. But it didn’t stop there. Now there is a global pandemic, civil unrest, and evil politicians who are hell bent to take over the world. If the negative effects of this potion had gone unchecked any longer I would not have been able to stop it’s momentum. Fortunately I was able to stop it in time. I will reformulate the potion and make necessary chemical changes. One day I will introduce it back into future generations.
I will have a surprise potion to offer at the end of my pricelist I am very sure you will want to have in case the shit hits the fan. Meanwhile, I am making a special effort to help each person to once again find community and the satisfaction of making a difference for the good of all. This is my pledge and my promise. Some of you have reached out by email and asked me how do I plan to do this with more than 5 billion human souls alive on this planet. And here’s the answer. With proven methods successfully executed on thousands of worlds and civilizations much like this one. It’s simple Some magic a rabbit and a hat and the rest is complicated and technical. A girl has to have some secrets, right? Did I mention love? Yeah that, too.
Ok for the full pricelist of all my spells, potions, and charms, visit my webpage wishuponastar@thewitchisin.org. Also this year I have a new you tube channel. Type into the search bar the witch is oin and poof you will be directed. Just subscribe and hit the like button. The first 100 subscribers will receive a 20% discount on any regular priced spell, potion or charm. Not eligible for discounted or clearance items. After the holiday and I am gone I post weekly updates with pictures on my Facebook page through the year. Feel free to post your updates and tell me how life is for you. I will look forward hearing from you.
A message to those who were chosen for the wealth and power potion program. I have arranged at no charge to you a 1 month retreat to the Betty Ford spa and resort and experimental potion treatment center located on beautiful Lake Superior in Duluth Minnesota. While you are there you will be pampered to 3 healthy meals + snacks a day, learn meditation technics, a relaxing yoga seminar, and daily deep tissue massages. You will have therapy sessions 3 times a week with world renown PhD Dr. Phil. During your stay in Duluth tours are scheduled to take in the sights and sounds of this historic city. Among the scheduled tours is a day at the Duluth shipping canal and park. This is a must see to watch the big lake ships come in through the canal on their way to their destination in the harbor. Toot toot! Recommended by Dr. Phil.
Now let’s get started.
The Witch is In is proud to announce my new 2020 price list for my most popular and improved spells and potions. For all other items visit my webpage for the entire price list.
My most requested spell ever...
Prince Charming. Yes ladies he’s back and is ready for love. My prince is tall 6’3” in height, handsome, and has all the strength and stamina you will ever need like ever. He is guaranteed for 5 years against sudden weight gain and muscle loss. (See more details on my website) The prince has soft brown eyes, a full head of dark brown hair, beautiful white teeth and a smile that will have you melting like the wicked witch of the west. Along with the prince is his majestic white steed complete with hand tooled leather and silver saddle and bridal crafted in Barcelona Spain. And a set for you if that’s what you are into, ahem. (See disclaimer on website) The basic Prince Charming is $4000.00 US dollars due at time of order. No exceptions, no refunds, don’t even think about it.
LADIES, BRAND NEW THIS YEAR..... The Prince Charming Upgrade!!!
Ladies life is all about choices and I have heard you loud and clear. I am proud to announce a list of “must haves” to go along with your Prince.
A Kingdom..Because every Prince needs a kingdom to rule! Included in the price for the Prince Charming Upgrade is....a castle. The castle is equipped with modern plumbing, up to code electrical, 2 forced air gas furnaces one to heat each wing and keep you warm all winter. 3 AC units, and a gourmet chef’s kitchen. The castle is 100,000 sq. Ft You will need a team of people to oversee all the maintainance and day to day upkeep a house of this proportions will need. A team of 10 cleaning people, 3 chefs, 2 butlers, 3 chamber maids and Tina Fey as the court jester. She’s really funny y’all!
A whole bunch of serfs and their large family’s to take care of the land and bring in the harvest. That way you can spend 6 months out of the year in luxury in the Caribbean sipping pina colada’s and hanging poolside. Wow it can’t get much better than that.
And you will need to house the Princes white steed. A large stable facility and indoor riding ring complete with tack room and office. A gold tone carriage and 6 more white stallions to pull the carriage. The carriage is fully equipped with top of the line shock absorbing technology, gps satellite system,a back up camera and power windows, Bluetooth enabled so you can hook up to your smart phone from any location. A stable manager and trainer to keep the stable and horses in good working order. All of these extras are included in one price of $6000.00 US!!!
But wait!!! Order the Prince and the prince upgrade together and I will knock off $1500.00 the entire order reducing the total sale to $8500.00. Now that’s something to howl about!!!
My second most requested spell is.....
The Princess: UPDATE; Say hello to Gwen our beautiful new princess that will pave the way for all princesses for generations to come. Gwen comes to me highly recommended by Match.com, a much respected dating online website, People, and Good Housekeeping magazine giving Gwen two thumbs each. Gwen has passed her physical, and virginity test.
Testing a true virgin used to mean using archaic methods that included to mention a few; a volcano, angry natives, and the toss of a terrified candidate. In the end a crispy virgin never helped anyone. So back to the drawing board. Soon I had a potion that is 100% safe and effective. It took a little time to get the natives on board, but after a friendly conversation with the lovely tribal chief, and his tribe, and a quick vote they all agreed 100%. No more sacrifices in a active volcano ending a proud tradition forever. Good decision. Life is about change, and staying alive. Right?
THE PRINCESS..
Guys, the Princess is 5’7”, 36,26,36. Long blond hair all natural not from a bottle ( hair color is guaranteed not to change, fade, or darken for 30 years). Azure blue eyes, perfect peaches and cream complexion, and a smile that will have you spellbound in love until the next morning. The Princess comes with a generous dowry including a 24k tiara, and her parents the King and Queen. Occasionally after the parents move to the castle they start to change some things. For example changing the menu, and writing all new material for the court jester. Causing unwanted turmoil making for an angry and unhappy staff. Before it gets that far and your threatened with lawsuits and a lynch mob text or email me. For a small fee I can make the parents disappear without law enforcement snooping around and asking a lot of stupid questions. The price for the Princess? Only $9,000.00 US dollars. Firm. Total payment due at time of order. No exceptions and no refunds.
There is a limited quantity of the Princess. Please order soon. Your not the only lonely dude on the planet. When she is gone she is gone girl. Until next year....
Now on to potions.....
Love is in the air with my #1 most requested potion.
You have asked for it, I have slaved over a hot cauldron for it, and now I am bringing it to direct. Hands down the best love potion on the market today. *See test results in March 2020 consumer report. Has the love of your life just filed a restraining order against you? Cheer up! My love potion will make any person you are...obsessed with, stalking, losing sleep, not eating, kidnapping or thoughts thereof, texting or suddenly finding yourself in a photography class (you get the idea) become completely and suddenly in love with you like they are in a catatonic state. If love is what you seek, I have the cure. *Disclaimer: read and be informed before you buy. Each sale of love potion #9 comes with a stern warning”Be careful what you wish for.” Love potion #9 is guaranteed for the life of the recipient. There is no antidote and no refunds. Only $100.00 dollars US per dose.
My second most asked for potion is...
Tired of being old and in the way? My youth potion guarantees all the physical attributes you enjoyed in your 20’s and 30’s. Included in the purchase of the youth potion is all your hair and teeth back in their original condition as God intended. Strength, balance, and walking without the use of chairs, canes, or help from Nurse Ratchet at the “home” In fact you will enjoy once again the freedom and independence to live life “la vida loco”!!! The youth potion has a shelf life of only 1 year so get several and never be interrupted by old age again. The Youth Potion requires a mandatory consultation from me and a 2 week class on “entering the workforce, paying federal income tax on time, for the next 40 years and like it.” Make an appointment with me for the current price .
As you know the Wealth and Power potion is shelved indefinitely. However I have a new potion that has been proven safe for human consumption. Introduced in June 2020 at the National Convention of Modern Witches, Warlocks, and Wizardry in Salem Mass. (M.W.W.W.S.M.)
I call it... The Bug Out And Quick Escape For Any Situation Potion. $1000.00dollars US 1 dose.
Here’s a few examples of how you can use this useful and effective potion.
A marriage gone south. Hey it happens. First never admit blame, just one dose of this potion and abbra Cadabra nothing up my sleeve poof! You get the Lincoln Navigator, the mansion in Bel Aire, custody of the children, and a handsome alimony award all without the time and stress of watching your x spouse havei a complete melt down in court and without the expense of a corrupt divorce lawyer. Pretty cool right?
Here’s another example of this multi purpose potion. Suddenly a conspiracy theory is fact. The Earth is going to implode any second. You have only minutes to get you and your dog to safety. The last spaceship to Mars is full and already hi-tailed off this rock. Now what do you do? Good question. You remember the Bug Out and Quick Escape Potion you purchased from the Witch Is In last Halloween. You locate the potion and drink it down with a rum chaser. In a few seconds you begin to feel lightheaded and fall back on your bed. The room starts to turn. It’s like your in the funnel of a tornado, going down further into a kind of semi conscious state of reality. Spinning and spinning. All goes black. The next thing you know you wake up to a world of little people, yellow brick road, and a horrific headache.
W.T.F.?! Yes Dorothy dear you and your little dog have been saved by a tornado and are starting a new life here. Believe it, it’s happening. Call it anything you want. You’re safe, right? Just think of the possibility’s! Starting life is never easy in any stretch of your imagination. You may see two moons in the sky consider it the new normal you’ll get used to it. Everything you need is here. All you have to do is click your heels together 3 times, and chant, “ I sure hope there’s a home improvement store on this hell hole.” But all in all you know it’s not so bad you will have family again and new memories to cherish. And ummm people who love you. Sure they dress a little weird but you can get used to that as well. In time. So go make a new life and embrace it. It’s about change and staying alive.
I’m only kidding the earth is not going to implode any time soon. But isn’t it comforting to know that you have the option to change in an instant in any situation?
The Witch Is In wants you and every inhabitant on Earth to know I am here for you and I will protect you. You can’t put a value on what is already priceless. And that is love for each other, community, trust, and doing the right thing. That is what is important above all else. Can I get a whooo hoooooo!
Well my beauty’s that is that for this 2020 holiday season of Halloween. You still have time to get your last minute orders in now. Operators are standing by call now.....and as always love you bunches. I will be back again in 2021 during the harvest moon.
Have a safe and happy Halloween!!!!

[ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ] [ 9 ] [ 10 ]