The worst thing you can do in a traditional profile is to write the same kind of profile that you would for a discovery dating app. A good profile is going to be at least 150 words long. However, if it goes over 300 words, fewer people are going to be willing to read it. During the fall and into the winter, there’s a 15% uptick in online dating activity, resulting from a number of factors, including an increase in testosterone and other horomones that affect sex.

O come all ye single! Our Cupid-like columnist rewrites online profiles to save her date-challenged friends from... themselves.

Something has happened to the prune. I don't know why, I don't know how, I only know that I was at the supermarket one fine morning, minding my own business, when suddenly I came face to face with 'the sun-dried plum.'

I will tell you right now that I'm a fan of the prune -- particularly when it's in Danish form -- but the prune was clearly not selling. For the prune to turn heads (not to mention meet a nice guy, move to the suburbs, and have a couple of baby prunes) it needed a fresh marketing strategy. Which brings us to today's subject: the online dating profile.

What Women Can Write About Yourself In The Dating Site Called

I've got a number of brilliant, beautiful, frank, funny friends, all capable of remarkable things, but writing an enticing online profile does not seem to be one of them. That's where I come in. Some people offer their services in soup kitchens, some volunteer to shampoo crude oil off of sad, gooey pelicans; I rewrite online dating profiles.

It all started when my pal Paula asked me to figure out why she wasn't getting a response to her JDate ad. I didn't have to read beyond her opening sentence -- 'I like the library!' -- to know why. All the exclamation points in the world couldn't save that line. 'But I was being honest,' Paula groaned. 'Why can't I find somebody who gets that?'

What I get is that we all want to be loved for exactly who we are. But surely there's a juicier way to bring up your literary fetish. 'Dewey Decimal? You bet we do!'

It wasn't long before news that I'd taken Paula's profile from drab to fab spread far and wide (okay, a couple of people in Brooklyn heard). Soon I was averaging 3.5 profile punch-ups a week. I've seen the dumb, the dull, and the klutzy; the bitter, the brazen, and the too cute by half. I've studied strangers on the Web and friends at my kitchen table, and here's what I've learned:

• False modesty is, well... false. Still, I urged my friend to follow her goddess-like self-description of 'an award-winning microbiologist who is Nigella Lawson in the kitchen and Megan Fox in the bedroom' with 'I'm absolutely tone-deaf, and I can't ski, but I'd be open to a lesson or two.' Soon she was swooshing down a bunny slope with an ophthalmologist from St. Paul. You see, you're better off copping to a humanizing flaw than coming across as too good to be true. (Mother Teresa was too good to be true, and nobody ever saw her having sushi with James Franco on a Saturday night.)

• You see, the key to any good punch-up is to finesse our little quirks. Let's assume that in some sort of misguided effort to emulate Johnny Cash, I once 'shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.' A clever tweak might suggest that I 'support the Second Amendment, adore the desert, and consider myself a keen observer of the human condition.'

• One of the women at my gym wants a nonsmoker with a sense of humor and a love of adventure. Fair enough. But she also wants a man who 'is punctual, considerate, and into theater.' All righty then. She insists he be 'blond, highly successful, and able to play an instrument.' Hmmmm. She feels strongly that he not 'ride a motorcycle, be divorced, or own goldfish.' I was a braless 22-year-old when I first began reading her profile. I am now 49; my gums are receding and it sounds like there's a dice game taking place in my left knee. Here's a good rule of thumb: If I have to check my watch twice as I study your never-ending list of needs, then the thing you need most is an editor.

Let's review -- the key to this whole online profile thing is really quite simple: Be direct while maintaining an air of mystery; be modest while flaunting what you've got; be flexible while explaining what you need, while keeping it brief and making it flirty and not getting cute; and be yourself, only more so, only not so much more so that you exaggerate, intimidate, or irritate. I know it sounds like a tall order, but if the prune can do it, so can you.

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Communication on the Internet has long ceased to be something unusual. More and more people are beginning to communicate on dating sites and they use them not just for entertainment. However, before “diving” into virtual communication, you need to know how to communicate on the Internet. Communication through the Internet often confuses even men who are very experienced in amorous affairs. The fact is that all real experience disappears when it comes to virtual communication. Girls love interesting men, so your first phrase should be really unusual and catchy to attract their attention. What to try on a dating site in order to attract the attention of a beauty?

Online dating messaging: general tips and advice

It may seem that there are no difficulties in virtual communication. It is even simpler than in real life – an interlocutor doesn’t see your facial expressions and other feelings and it means that you can show your excitement or other emotions and no one knows what you feel. In addition, if you don’t know what to answer, you can always pause, saying that you have to go, or even stop talking without explanation. However, everything is not so simple in a situation when you like some girl and just don’t know how to continue this communication. And here are online dating message tips for you:

How to message a girl: establishing an online dating dialogue

Don’t hesitate to ask women questions, of course, without giving your conversation a form of interrogation. If your interlocutor doesn’t indicate in a profile whether she is married, you can directly ask what caused such mistery and what her marital status is. It's bad to ask directly about the amount of salary, a car or an apartment, height, and weight.

What to talk about in online dating messages: the hierarchy of topics can be structured according to the following pattern:

• general things (mood, weather, holidays, weekends)
• exchange of opinions (relations between men and women, sports, politics, cars, economics, music, literature, favorite institutions and the like)
• personal information (past relationships, wishes for a future partner, plans for children).

Of course, this scheme is very approximate. However, the transition from ordinary online dating messages like “Hi! How is your mood?” to a frank conversation on exciting personal topics can take just a few minutes on the Internet. The main idea is that you need to be able to feel the mood of your interlocutor, don’t ask harsh and too personal questions while trying to get maximum information.

Learn to write to a woman

Learn how to use the search. Don’t be shy and write to everyone who arouses your interest. Don’t they answer? No problem, this is just a dating site. So, what to write in the first message? The variant “Hello, let's get acquainted” is not perfect, but you can use it in extreme cases. The best way to send the first message in online dating is just to say “Hello!”, make a compliment and ask something about her profile. But the win-win option in online dating messages that surely get responses is to write something like “Hello! I am interested in your profile” and tell about yourself. Do it briefly, but essentially. Tell about your hobbies, goals, some views on life, etc. And at the end add: “I’ll be glad to talk with you” That is all. Next, give a woman the right to respond to your proposal.

Don’t be a “handkerchief” for someone else's tears

You shouldn’t be too indifferent in correspondence, but you also shouldn’t become a “handkerchief” for a stranger. You will spend a lot of time listening to someone's suffering, and as a result, a person may experience awkwardness in personal communication in the future or you don’t like each other at all. On the Internet, there are many women who are going through a divorce or a painful parting and they want to speak out. Don’t go too far into the details of their personal tragedies: you are not a free psychologist, but a potential boyfriend. If you are interested in each other, you will have plenty of time to comfort her and listen to her stories. But for now, don’t be distracted from your main goal. Refrain from advice and comments, sympathize with a woman, write that everything will be fine, and try to turn your conversation into another direction.

Don’t go crazy

It's just a dating site. You don’t need to be on it for years. It is not necessary to write absolutely to every woman. There is no need to fight desperately for a meeting with a candidate you like. Don’t get upset if some stupid proposals are sent to you. Don’t disappoint in this kind of dating after the first unsuccessful attempts... Even after 20 unsuccessful attempts! Only calm and patient people achieve success here.

Online dating messages: great examples and rules

It is only half of the battle to attract a woman by a photo on an online dating site. You have to consolidate this achievement. A woman, choosing a man on a dating service, will not be satisfied just with your handsome appearance. You should say beautiful words, sharp phrases, and come up with witty answers. There are several simple ways to make each dialog unforgettable and here are online dating message examples so that every girl will want to communicate with you again and again.

Try to be interesting from the first messages

You are definitely a unique man. But a woman, who is corresponding with you in a chat room, maybe doesn’t know it. And will not know if you answer very briefly and don’t ask any questions. Turn into a talker. Ideally, you have to come up with some unusual questions that you can ask at the beginning of your conversation. This will help a conversation become more interesting. What can be used as a rescue circle if a conversation doesn’t develop in any way?

1. Questions that really bother you. Such questions that she can’t answer just “yes” or “no”. Use our first message online dating examples:

• What kind of men do you like?
• What are your favorite books/films/music?
• What do you like about your profession?
• Where would you like to live?
• How do you spend your free time?
• What countries do you dream to visit and why?
• What, in your opinion, is the main thing in a relationship?

Do you have pets? (This question is relevant if you also love animals and can talk about them for a long time)

2. The second message in online dating can be a message with soft humor. It helps relieve tension in a conversation and emancipates an interlocutor. It is difficult to come up with something universal. But here are some simple examples:

• Do you think that men more like photos of girls with cobras or girls with teddy bears?
• Do you think a man should look for a woman or vice versa?
• Hi! Today you came to me in a dream, but you said only your name (a variant that is perfect for ordinary and not glamorous girls. As a rule, your creativity will do its job and a girl will be curious to know everything in detail).
• You are so mysterious! Let me be the one who will reveal all your secrets. (We all know that every girl has a mystery. And when a guy writes a young lady about this, she, of course, will be interested in the fact what is so mysterious about her)

The main rule – don’t be afraid to look like a fool! First, it's better than being silent with a good woman. Secondly, even stupidity can help develop a dialog in which you show your intelligence. Thirdly, you don’t lose anything! If a conversation doesn’t work out, then just forget about this woman and communicate with the next one!

3. How to write online dating messages? Tell something about yourself in the hope that a woman may also chime in. You can tell about your cat, about your work, about your hobby, about your house, about anything you want. If a woman keeps silent – well, then, forget her.

4. Ask about something feminine; something easily solved for her but not a bit understandable for you. A woman can give you advice, feeling like the smartest girl in the world, and you may learn a lot about each other in the process. The most common topics for women are clothes and beauty. In general, if you already know what her hobby is, let her tell about it. The main secret is that your problem should be solved “as if by magic” due to her advice. And don’t forget to thank your savior.

5. Talk less about oneself, about your exes, about unsuccessful love and other sorrows. Don’t complain about your hard life. She is here for getting acquainted and not for condolences.

Online dating: good first message examples

Here are four universal phrases that will help strike up a conversation literally with one sentence:

“Are you ready…?”

The first message in online dating can look like this. Begin with a question that can immediately get her taken by surprise: “Are you ready to start salsa training?” or “Are you ready to go on some rides?” On the one hand, starting a dialog with this phrase, you can immediately understand how much your interlocutor is interesting and whether she has a sense of humor. And on the other hand, you immediately have a topic for further discussion.

“What is the place/county… on your photo?”

With this question, you will immediately show that you are interested in the life of a woman. It is not a secret for anyone that it is most pleasant for people to talk about themselves. For example, if you ask where she bought glasses from one of her pictures, and then add “I want the same!”, a girl subconsciously will take this as a compliment and will be open for further communication. Also, the question of what perfume she uses can be appropriate. It is known that the choice of perfume can say a lot about an interlocutor.

“I see you like skiing/dancing…I would like to try this. Tell me, is it difficult?”

Again, it is a good opportunity to immediately strike up good communication starting a conversation with the question of her hobbies.

“Please, please, please help me in…”

This is one more online dating first message example. This phrase can be continued in a thousand different ways – “Photoshop”, “cooking”, “choosing a book”. Any theme is suitable. The main thing is that a woman should understand it better than any other girls. And don’t be shy to seem like an absolute non-expert in this or that issue. Many representatives of the weak half of mankind will boast of their knowledge with pleasure.

These phrases are by no means a panacea and not a magic pill. We gave only examples of some of the best ways of how to get acquainted with a girl on a dating site, and you can use them as a base for creating your own, individual ways of dating. A little imagination and patience – and you will succeed!

Online Dating Mistakes You Need to Avoid

Newbies always make mistakes. Let’s admit it. Especially when we deal with the most unpredictable creatures in the world, women. Especially when you go online and it is sometimes even more difficult to understand what they want. Let’s find out the most common online dating mistakes that can make your joy and online relationships vanish in a blink of an eye. Here you have 6 online dating mistakes to avoid.

1. Using an illegitimate website

This is a mistake that can spoil your real life, to say nothing about the virtual one. Website-strangers can be very tricky and bleed you white by enticing with beautiful women’s photos. Always check the reviews, ask what online dating websites your friends use, before signing in. If you don’t want to be deceived, of course.

2. Be a Mr.Banality

Serious guys hate idiotic conversations. What they need is a fast way to get acquainted with an attractive woman and win her heart. The point is that thousands of men think the same. When you’re at a club, a simple “You’re cool. How are you doing?” would be enough. However, it doesn’t work here. How not to write the samebla-bla-bla as others? Well, try different topics. For example, the books she likes, movies, fandom you both are members of.

3. Always in a hurry

When you don’t hesitate, the women believe you (a) are the same in relationships and (b) don’t even want to spend more time on them. The worst that can happen is to be like those thousands of ordinary men who do not give a damn about what women feel.

4. Don’t be persistent

It’s another misdo for men. A lot of them act like gigolos and write tens of women at a time…and never go back to see whether ALL of them texted back. Nobody forces you to text only 3 women at a time. Just know your limit. Remember a “persistent rule”, when you find the one and she ignores you. Hmm…how unfair it is! Go on writing. You will lose nothing and avoid one of online dating mistakes.

5. Begging for a phone number

Here is another one of the most common online dating mistakes. Using a wife finder some guys make huge mistakes begging for a number in the beginning of a chat. Such an impudence is unacceptable among most decent ladies. Again, do not rush. The same is about meeting face-to-face. First, get acquainted with a woman, get to know her better, make several video calls before going on a real date.

6. Chat with married women

What Women Can Write About Yourself In The Dating Site As A

If a lady is already married, she can become a source of endless problems. First, if such a woman is here, this is a priori a bad fact. She spends her time dating on the net with strangers instead of taking care of her husband and possibly children. Secondly, there is a very small chance your romantic relationships will develop.

Thirdly, if she makes up with you, are you sure, your adulteress will not find another match and break up with you? If there is a blank in front of her marital status, you are to ask her and be on guard. Some of them may lie. By the way, there is no need asking about it in the first message. This is considered impolite.

Making online dating mistakes guys burry their personal life. Why don’t you, finally, stop it?

Online dating second message

Avoid the patterns

The guy will have little chance of communicating with a girl if he uses pattern phrases such as: “How are you? What are you doing? ”,“ You are beautiful ”,“ You are sexy ”, etc.

Be positive

What Women Can Write About Yourself In The Dating Site Using

Few people can resist the interesting humorist, so your communication should be rich with optimism and humor. One of the easiest ways in the correspondence to show your positive attitude is the use of emoticons.

What Women Can Write About Yourself In The Dating Site

Do not do self-promotion

No one likes boasters. Stories about how wonderful and original you are will not interest her. Let her make her own conclusions. It is better to ask more, because girls like to talk about their own person so much.

Demonstrate the versatility of knowledge

She should know that you are diversified. But the demonstration should be held in an unobtrusive form. It should not be allowed to look like boasting. The element of surprise can play a big role. For example, a girl meets a guy whom everyone considers to be the soul of the party. They are happy to see him at any party, because there is no any complete holiday without his vulgar jokes. Accordingly, his new acquaintance develops a general opinion about him only on the basis of these observations.

But later, when she finds him closer, he shows her touching poems of his own composition. Inevitably, the opinion about the person changes immediately, he becomes more interesting for her: there are new topics for conversation, there is a possibility that a little later there will be new unexpected 'discoveries' of this kind.

Diversify communication with media

Such communication is suitable for social networks. All this will make it possible to diversify your communication, help you learn about her interests and show yours. Also sending media files will be an original way to hint something to a girl, express your emotions, invite her for a date, etc.

Ease and pleasure

Your communication should not be tense, and then she will forget about all the problems with you. Find topics that you both enjoy talking about (rest, life goals, etc.), briefly describe some unusual or funny event from your life, ask her about something neutral that will not cause negative emotions.

Intrigue and understatement

In communicating with her, use the pick-up scheme: for example, by corresponding with her for two days, suddenly disappear for a day, but later find a reasonable explanation for this that does not offend her. Another way to create intrigue is to tell her what you have for a surprise, but you will reveal the veil of secrecy a little later. All this will not allow you to be predictable, it will make her think more about you.

Tell about your active life

Make her want to spend every minute with you! Winter fishing, hiking, barbecues at the cottage with friends, skates, skateboard, skiing, cinema, theaters, traveling by car. Of course, all your stories must correspond to reality, otherwise, it will be considered a hoax.